the insipid circle of my life
Sorry, I haven’t been writing.
I’m feeling a bit out of it and it’s causing me to sleep a lot though not well. This leaves me tired and confused and really pretty useless most of the day. I’m supposed to return to work in a couple of weeks, been on medical leave since April. Going back is both stressful and something I look forward to. Yes, I know, don’t end a sentence in a preposition but it sounds so strange to say something to which I look forward…just not the way I speak.
So, what’s been going on? I started working out a couple of weeks ago, this is really important for both my mental health and my physical health. I tend to start out too fast and hurt myself thus stopping too soon. Part of the reason I get hurt…
I broke my neck in 2005…a compression fracture that came along with a ruptured disc. This caused a great amount of pain and took the military doctors 5 (count them…FIVE) months to figure out what was wrong. The military sent me to physical therapy, luckily the same day I had an appt. with a Neurologist. The Physical Therapist didn’t even look at my MRI and told me that I would be fine in a couple of weeks. The Neurologist told me that it was the largest ruptured disc he had ever seen and that I need to see a Neurosurgeon immediately. I had an appt. with the surgeon the next day and was told that I could not go back to work, had to come off my meds and was having surgery in 4 days. As for PT? The remark that I got was…”Christopher Reeves, that could be you!”. Alrighty then! I now have a cadaver bone and a titanium plate in my neck…No, I don’t set off airport alarms.
I hate the insipid cycle of feeling like crap causes not working out, which can cause eating badly which makes me feel like crap…the friggin circle of my life.
Tags: bipolar, broken neck, mental health, physical health, working out
This entry was posted on Thursday, June 18th, 2009 at 12:53 am and is filed under Bipolar Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
1:24 pm on June 26th, 2009
I know what you are talking about here. I have struggled for many years, off and on, with using eating excess food as a coping mechanism. I’ve gained and lost weight more times than I can count. But you’re right — adopting the habit of exercise will make you less likely to abuse your body with food, especially if you maintain a policy of non-abuse when it comes to the exercise itself.
Depression can make it many times harder to get off the couch and do something, but life always seems a little less awful after a good workout (for me, anyway).
Good luck on your continuing journey back to the land of the living…I’m rooting for you!
3:26 pm on October 2nd, 2009
Agreed!
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