between the broken places

Great Productivity and then BAM, Exhaustion

The last couple of weeks have been very busy for me.  I’ve taken care of stuff around the house that had been ignored while I was recovering from the tonsilectomy.  I signed up for my local chapters of NAMI and DBSA.  I went to NAMI’s conference and went to two writing classes.  I’ve seen my doctor and my Life Coach.  I’ve worked on my website, continued to work on my book, done tons of research and gotten out of the house to meet new people.  I even found my calendar so that I could keep all of these things straight.  I still got the vet appointment wrong and let me tell you how hairy it can be taking 3 Chow Chow’s to the vet on my own.

So now I’m exhausted, not interested in much of anything today…that alone can be the beginning of a bad trend.  I was writing last night and I was just out of gas, nothing was coming out of me — at least not the way I was hoping for it to spill out of my brain.  I tried to watch tv, I love Glee but couldn’t even get into it.  I know, such a Geek.

I just want to sleep today, is that ok?  I’m not sleeping well at night, up at all weird hours and unable to go back to sleep.  It sucks.  I’m supposed to go to a support group tonight and I don’t have the energy.  Lame excuse.  I hate new gatherings. I’m not good at them. I’m always trying to hide.  When I feel this way, I just don’t want to be seen.  I’d rather hide in my room — so reminiscent of my teen-age years.  Sometimes, I feel like such a coward.

And I want to publish a book and become a public advocate for Bipolar Disorder…on days like today it seems hard to imagine.

Back to bed with covers over my head.

Tags: bipolar, exhaustion, new people

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 at 4:39 pm and is filed under Bipolar Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.